The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 12

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve drummers drumming!
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

Finally, the twelve drummers stand for the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed, as listed by the Catholic Church. According to Wikipedia, it reads like this: 

 

"I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
Creator of Heaven and Earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day He rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the Communion of the Saints,
the Forgiveness of Sins,
the Resurrection of the Body,
and the Life Everlasting. Amen." 

 

While I'm not a Catholic, there are some parts of the Catholic church that I genuinely admire. It's always fascinating to look at different religions from an academic perspective and see how they see things.

 

I think there would be a lot less contention about religion (and the lack of it) if we didn't get so hyper and jump the gun all the time, took a little time to really think and speak to each other like actual human beings.

 

I don't expect anyone to ever agree with me. What they choose to believe is entirely up to them. All I really ask is a little respect and I'm more than happy to give respect in exchange.

 

This is one of the best traits of my faun priest character, Malachi Windwillow. He's always happy to share his beliefs but he'll never force-feed them to you. If you agree with him and decide to join his congregation, that's great. If you don't agree and stay away, he'll still talk to you and try to be your friend. That's how it is with him and Mason Wiles, so Mason makes up his own mind about becoming a Christian, being baptized, and everything.

 

You'll only ever really get on Malachi's bad side if you mock God or try to hurt other members of his congregation on purpose, or threaten anyone in his family. When Bentley, Reid's maternal grandfather, threatens Malachi's children (especially Herminia) during his infamous visit, within the church's very doors, that's enough to make Malachi punch the old man in the fat face and order him, like Friar Tuck, "Get out of my church!" 

 

Although Malachi is later horrified at what he's done, Reid doesn't hold that against him in any way. If anything, this leads Reid to officially renounce Bentley as his grandfather, and Ann never looks at her father the same way again, either.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve blazing dragons!
Eleven centaurs prancing,
Ten flimsy fairies,
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

Like fairies, there are many different portrayals of dragons, good and bad and neutral. In Western culture, they're a symbol of evil, irredeemable monsters of death and destruction.

 

In Eastern culture, they're a symbol of good, creatures of wisdom, strength, power, and hidden knowledge.

 

In both versions, no one ever gets on a dragon's bad side if they know what's good for them, because dragons are still strong and untamed, and most are big enough to eat you in one bite.

 

Hence the trope, "Bullying a Dragon." According to TV Tropes, "This is the fate-tempting and suicidal tendency of characters to bully, persecute or otherwise provoke people or things they really shouldn't be messing with."

 

This is probably why dragons are among the most prominent in fantasy stories, and among the most fun to write about, because you really can write them any way you like.

 

 

And that's a wrap! Merry Christmas, everybody!

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 11

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eleven pipers piping!
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

The eleven pipers stand for the eleven faithful disciples. That is, all of Christ's disciples except Judas.

 

Judas is quite a complicated character, and a lot of people have mixed feelings about him. On one hand, he helped make the Savior's universal sacrifice possible, but on the other hand, an innocent man suffered unspeakable torture and the worst death imaginable because of him. After everything Jesus went through, from the Garden all the way to the Cross, death could only be a blessed release.

 

There was no way Jesus's enemies could have gotten their hands on Him to begin with without a little help, and there is something to be said about someone who does something wrong when they know it's wrong. Whether Judas truly meant to betray his Master and simply got cold feet at the last minute, or the situation turned out a whole lot worse than he initially expected, is irrelevant.

 

When all is said and done, the man really was a traitor. He threw all of the Savior's teachings away and regretted his actions a little too late, which I feel makes his story that much more heart-wrenching.

 

As for the remaining eleven Apostles, they not only remained faithful but went on to become far greater men than they were before or could have ever imagined. They're all living proof that ordinary men (and women) can become truly extraordinary in God's hands if they let Him.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eleven centaurs prancing!
Ten flimsy fairies,
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

Like fauns, centaurs are known for their barbarism and unbridled chaos, and wine has always had a tendency to bring out the worst in them. Then again, centaurs are every bit as capable of kindness, goodness, and wisdom. They're especially passionate about books and astrology, and they make lifelong friends, too.

 

The most famous centaur of all is the Chiron, a wise and kind centaur who taught many great heroes in their youth, such as Achilles, Actaeon, and Jason.

 

I've personally developed a soft spot for the centaur Oreius from The Chronicles of Narnia.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 10

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten lords a-leaping!
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

What the ten lords symbolize is a fairly simple symbol: the Ten Commandments. Even people who aren't particularly religious will no doubt have heard of them a few times in their lives:

 

1. God is the one true God we must worship.
2. Don't create idols, or "graven images," as they're called. The story of the Golden Calf from the book of Exodus is one not-so-fine example.
3. Don't take God's name in vain. God's name is sacred and must be kept so at all times.
4. Remember the Sabbath Day and observe it as such.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. Don't kill.
7. Don't commit adultery. Love and respect your spouse.
8. Don't steal.
9. Don't bear false witness. Always tell the truth and refrain from malicious slander.
10. Don't covet.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten flimsy fairies!
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

The interesting thing about fairies is that there are so many different ways to depict them. In some versions, they're cute and harmless, sometimes downright silly, and they represent love, magic, and springtime.

 

In other versions, they're more nasty and malicious, representing immorality, sexual depravity, abduction, cruel humor, and even death.

 

Disney's Tinker Bell in particular kind of skirts the line between good and bad fairies. She has plenty of traits that are not so ideal, but on the other hand, she does learn her lesson, even if she must learn it the hard way. I appreciate very much how, like Peter Pan, she becomes a lot more likable in Return to Never Land, so I definitely consider Return to Never Land one of the better Disney sequels.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 9

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: nine ladies dancing!
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

There are many theories about what the nine ladies are supposed to represent.

 

One such theory is that they represent the Nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit, as explained in the Book of Galatians. These fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: nine mystic mermaids!
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

In some cultures, mermaids are seen as protectors and guides of the ocean and its creatures, representing the power of nature to nurture and sustain life.

 

In my world, merfolk are fiercely protective of their territory. They won't hesitate to attack anyone who harms their environment or any of the undersea creatures living in it. Then again, they'll handsomely reward anyone who helps them.

 

As much as I love Disney's The Little Mermaid, I do make a few corrections here and there.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 8

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eight maids a-milking!
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

The word "maid" alludes to an unmarried woman, and milk is the life-sustaining nourishment that mature females provide.

Therefore, this song alludes to eight young girls on the brink of womanhood, like eight flowers springing into full bloom.

My fantasy version:

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eight hearty hobbits!
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

If you've ever read and/or watched The Hobbit and/or The Lord of the Rings, you'll know hobbits are simple, pleasant country folk, vastly preferring good food, drink, friends, and music to wealth and power.

They may not seem like much, but they're still full of surprises, and everybody has an important lesson or two to learn from them.

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 7

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven swans a-swimming!
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

The swan is a symbol of grace, purity, and harmony. It's also a symbol of balance: yin and yang, light and dark, good and bad.

 

My fantasy version:

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven dwarves a-mining!
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

The dwarf also represents balance and the vital need for it. On one hand, you should be strong and ready to face your enemies at a moment's notice, but on the other hand, you can't always get along through brute force.

In most modern fantasies, dwarves are known to be grumpy, sarcastic, and a bit bloodthirsty in a fight, yet they're also loyal to the death. So, if you manage to get on a dwarf's side, count on that dwarf standing by you all the way to the end.

Christmas Entitlement

Geez, what is it about the holidays that makes certain people forget their manners, forget that they're talking to another human being, forget that they can't always get what they want when they want it? At least whiny kids have the excuse of being kids, which means they're still maturing and really don't know any better.

And then we have grown men and women who should know better, and yet there's something just plain wrong in that head of theirs this time of year. It happens every single year without fail, and it boggles my mind every single time.

Man, if I had a dollar for every time I've been asked this week alone, "Do you have any more sweet breads? When are you going to get more? Do you have any more cookies in the back? Will there be some tomorrow? Can I buy that gift basket that's already reserved for someone else?"

Which, I suppose, are fair questions. But for goodness' sake, people, this is Christmas we're talking about. What did you expect? Of course, we're going to be clean out of breads, gift baskets, cookies, and all that fun stuff in no time. As a cashier, I can't make any solid guarantees for next time, and besides, if you placed an order ahead of time instead of trying your luck at random, the odds would be a bit more in your favor, wouldn't they?

If you come into the store, you might get some. If you order ahead, it's much more likely that you will get some. You already had at least a month to order all this stuff. Yet, for some people, it's only during the last week that they realize, "Oh, I better hurry and buy some! I gotta get moving!"

One lady had the nerve to ask if we would be open on Christmas Eve so she could buy rolls that very day. And we're closed on Christmas Eve, because we're closed on Sundays. A couple of people even asked me if we'd be open on Christmas Day itself.

I get it: I'm guilty of procrastination, too, and to forget is natural. I understand you want your food as fresh as possible, though I don't think a day or two will do you or your guests any real harm, especially if you store the food properly.

But even so, you don't have to get nasty about it and take it out on us, who are simply doing our jobs and trying to get through this holiday hype in one piece. We've got enough work and stress without an entitled jerk adding to the pile. It's not our fault you put it off so long and we don't owe you any favors.

Furthermore, while I will admit food is important, will a certain cake or bread or cookie or gift basket truly make or break your holiday? Seems to me you entitled few are forgetting what Christmas is really all about, or you just don't care.

What burns me up the most is when people can see darn well how busy we are, they can see with their own eyes how crowded it is, they know for a fact Christmas is less than a week away, and they still have the nerve to complain to our faces about how long they have to wait. At least they only have to wait; they're not the ones scurrying around, putting all the orders together, so it's easy for them to talk.

I may be used to this kind of craziness. It's nothing I really can't handle...but this kind of behavior never ceases to astound me.

As that song goes, "Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human, too?"