The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 12

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve drummers drumming!
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

Finally, the twelve drummers stand for the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed, as listed by the Catholic Church. According to Wikipedia, it reads like this: 

 

"I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
Creator of Heaven and Earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day He rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the Communion of the Saints,
the Forgiveness of Sins,
the Resurrection of the Body,
and the Life Everlasting. Amen." 

 

While I'm not a Catholic, there are some parts of the Catholic church that I genuinely admire. It's always fascinating to look at different religions from an academic perspective and see how they see things.

 

I think there would be a lot less contention about religion (and the lack of it) if we didn't get so hyper and jump the gun all the time, took a little time to really think and speak to each other like actual human beings.

 

I don't expect anyone to ever agree with me. What they choose to believe is entirely up to them. All I really ask is a little respect and I'm more than happy to give respect in exchange.

 

This is one of the best traits of my faun priest character, Malachi Windwillow. He's always happy to share his beliefs but he'll never force-feed them to you. If you agree with him and decide to join his congregation, that's great. If you don't agree and stay away, he'll still talk to you and try to be your friend. That's how it is with him and Mason Wiles, so Mason makes up his own mind about becoming a Christian, being baptized, and everything.

 

You'll only ever really get on Malachi's bad side if you mock God or try to hurt other members of his congregation on purpose, or threaten anyone in his family. When Bentley, Reid's maternal grandfather, threatens Malachi's children (especially Herminia) during his infamous visit, within the church's very doors, that's enough to make Malachi punch the old man in the fat face and order him, like Friar Tuck, "Get out of my church!" 

 

Although Malachi is later horrified at what he's done, Reid doesn't hold that against him in any way. If anything, this leads Reid to officially renounce Bentley as his grandfather, and Ann never looks at her father the same way again, either.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve blazing dragons!
Eleven centaurs prancing,
Ten flimsy fairies,
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

Like fairies, there are many different portrayals of dragons, good and bad and neutral. In Western culture, they're a symbol of evil, irredeemable monsters of death and destruction.

 

In Eastern culture, they're a symbol of good, creatures of wisdom, strength, power, and hidden knowledge.

 

In both versions, no one ever gets on a dragon's bad side if they know what's good for them, because dragons are still strong and untamed, and most are big enough to eat you in one bite.

 

Hence the trope, "Bullying a Dragon." According to TV Tropes, "This is the fate-tempting and suicidal tendency of characters to bully, persecute or otherwise provoke people or things they really shouldn't be messing with."

 

This is probably why dragons are among the most prominent in fantasy stories, and among the most fun to write about, because you really can write them any way you like.

 

 

And that's a wrap! Merry Christmas, everybody!

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 11

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eleven pipers piping!
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

The eleven pipers stand for the eleven faithful disciples. That is, all of Christ's disciples except Judas.

 

Judas is quite a complicated character, and a lot of people have mixed feelings about him. On one hand, he helped make the Savior's universal sacrifice possible, but on the other hand, an innocent man suffered unspeakable torture and the worst death imaginable because of him. After everything Jesus went through, from the Garden all the way to the Cross, death could only be a blessed release.

 

There was no way Jesus's enemies could have gotten their hands on Him to begin with without a little help, and there is something to be said about someone who does something wrong when they know it's wrong. Whether Judas truly meant to betray his Master and simply got cold feet at the last minute, or the situation turned out a whole lot worse than he initially expected, is irrelevant.

 

When all is said and done, the man really was a traitor. He threw all of the Savior's teachings away and regretted his actions a little too late, which I feel makes his story that much more heart-wrenching.

 

As for the remaining eleven Apostles, they not only remained faithful but went on to become far greater men than they were before or could have ever imagined. They're all living proof that ordinary men (and women) can become truly extraordinary in God's hands if they let Him.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eleven centaurs prancing!
Ten flimsy fairies,
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

Like fauns, centaurs are known for their barbarism and unbridled chaos, and wine has always had a tendency to bring out the worst in them. Then again, centaurs are every bit as capable of kindness, goodness, and wisdom. They're especially passionate about books and astrology, and they make lifelong friends, too.

 

The most famous centaur of all is the Chiron, a wise and kind centaur who taught many great heroes in their youth, such as Achilles, Actaeon, and Jason.

 

I've personally developed a soft spot for the centaur Oreius from The Chronicles of Narnia.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas of 2023 - Day 10

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten lords a-leaping!
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

What the ten lords symbolize is a fairly simple symbol: the Ten Commandments. Even people who aren't particularly religious will no doubt have heard of them a few times in their lives:

 

1. God is the one true God we must worship.
2. Don't create idols, or "graven images," as they're called. The story of the Golden Calf from the book of Exodus is one not-so-fine example.
3. Don't take God's name in vain. God's name is sacred and must be kept so at all times.
4. Remember the Sabbath Day and observe it as such.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. Don't kill.
7. Don't commit adultery. Love and respect your spouse.
8. Don't steal.
9. Don't bear false witness. Always tell the truth and refrain from malicious slander.
10. Don't covet.

 

My fantasy version:

 

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten flimsy fairies!
Nine mystic mermaids,
Eight hearty hobbits,
Seven dwarves a-mining,
Six flying horses,
Five magic rings,
Four mountain trolls,
Three phoenixes,
Two forest fauns,
And a unicorn as white as the snow!

 

The interesting thing about fairies is that there are so many different ways to depict them. In some versions, they're cute and harmless, sometimes downright silly, and they represent love, magic, and springtime.

 

In other versions, they're more nasty and malicious, representing immorality, sexual depravity, abduction, cruel humor, and even death.

 

Disney's Tinker Bell in particular kind of skirts the line between good and bad fairies. She has plenty of traits that are not so ideal, but on the other hand, she does learn her lesson, even if she must learn it the hard way. I appreciate very much how, like Peter Pan, she becomes a lot more likable in Return to Never Land, so I definitely consider Return to Never Land one of the better Disney sequels.

 

Why I Hate the Disney Remakes

It's no secret that I'm nuts about Disney.

It's also no secret that I'm not nuts about the live-action remakes they've been cranking out lately, and will most likely crank out for years to come.

 

It's a pretty safe bet that they're gonna do them all.

And why wouldn't they? They've got a good thing going! These movies are bringing in a shipload of money, and folks are always so eager to see how real life compares to the cartoon.

It's like a reincarnation of the Disney Renaissance.

I totally get it: you need money to keep your company alive and well.

Sometimes (as much as I hate to say this) you must sacrifice a bit of artistic integrity if it brings in the dough. Look at Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey: it's (almost) universally agreed that the books are among the worst-written in the world, but look how many copies the authors have sold. I could pay off my medical insurance for the entire year, and pay all of my college debts in full, with less than half that much.

And there's a whole slew of Star Wars movies coming out the yin-yang, and everybody loves Star Wars, right?

My cousin Amber, the one who lets me stay at her house and take care of her dogs from time to time, is a certified Star Wars geek. But during my most recent visit, even she had to admit that they're milking the franchise dry. When she went to see Solo a little while back, she absolutely hated it.

She and I agreed that we can only take so many stories; we only want so much information on each individual character, and the light saber duels and Apocalyptic explosions can only provide so much eye candy.

I'll admit it: at least a couple of these remakes from Disney have perked my interest and I figured it couldn't hurt to watch them at least once. When Beauty and the Beast came out, I wanted to check it out mostly because of Emma Watson and Ian McKellen, and I really wanted to see how they would design the Beast.

While the movie wasn't bad, it wasn't that thrilling, either. They made just enough tweaks to save it from becoming a complete carbon copy, but I could see 90% of what was coming a mile away. (Trust me, I never even bothered to count how many times we watched the 1991 movie in my childhood, thanks to my older sister and little brother dominating the TV and VCR.)

Even the songs weren't so different, besides "Evermore" and "How Does a Moment Last Forever." It was just different voices singing the same words.

Overall, enough predictability to make me yawn and go, "Okay, can we move on to something else?"

While it never was one of my favorite movies to begin with, I still say the 1991 cartoon was better.

Although I understand the business part of all these remakes, I also have to admit, they rub me the wrong way as an artist. It puts a sour taste in my mouth to see them recycle one movie after another, to the point where the original movies are starting to lose their magic. They're cheapening what made those cartoons so special to us in our childhood.

 

I also don't appreciate what they've done to the characters, such as making the Grand Duke and King Stefan the bad guys (and Maleficent a tragic victim), or making LeFou more romantically interested in Gaston, or making Kaa a girl just because that story is "too male-oriented." (Give me a break.)

Like the saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Yet the guys at Disney have taken it upon themselves to "fix" all of our beloved classics...which isn't necessarily a crime, but feels quite unnecessary all the same.

But you know what I hate the most?

Every time a live-action remake comes out, we have to deal with all these nutty "Disney purists" raising absolute hell over how the remake "should" or "shouldn't" be done.

Take Aladdin, for example.

It has been confirmed that Will Smith will play the Genie, and people are acting like the movie is already ruined (and that their entire childhood has been blown to kingdom come) just because Will Smith couldn't possibly hold a candle to Robin Williams.

To that, I have to say, "Well, DUH. What did you expect?!?"

Will Smith is not Robin Williams. Will Smith is Will Smith, and Will Smith is going to do this Will Smith's way, not Robin Williams's way.

If you don't like it, then pray tell, who would do a better job? How would you do it?

When you're in charge of the movie, you call the shots. And when you're not in charge, you take what you get.

And with The Lion King just around the corner, and that being one of Disney's biggest hits, I've a unpleasant feeling we're in for our bumpiest ride with the purists yet.

In the words of good ol' Charlie Brown:

So yeah, as I said, it's not a crime for Disney to do this. But with every movie they put out, the magic (for me) decreases just a little more. It's as if they have no more original ideas, so they're milking the old ideas for all they're worth, until there's nothing left to squeeze out.

No story can drag on forever.

No story should have to drag on forever, even for the sake of money.

Sooner or later, you will have to officially write the words "THE END"--and stick with them.

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