The Sound of Money

Sung to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence." It's one of my less funny parodies, but I really love the rhythm of the lyrics.

Hello, cold cash, my old friend

It’s time we cut a deal again

Who cares about a bit of stealing?

Who cares how humans may be feeling?

Everybody knows that those with the most pay

Rule the day

Within the sound of money

On fortune’s road I walk alone

Gold’s as hard and cold as stone

My heart feels nothing tender

While my fingers feel that legal tender

I live this rich life day after day, year after year

All I hear

Is that sweet sound of money

And in the world beyond my door,

Living the bleak life of the poor,

People breaking while they’re bending

People making without mending

People sending checks that never make it back

No greenbacks

Disturb the sound of money

Only a Scrooge like I would know

Greed worse than a cancer grows

Serve me with a silver platter

What glitters? Only gold matters

And each note, like a silent raindrop, fell

And echoed in the wells of money

And the people bowed and prayed

To the paper god they made

We’ll go on forever cashing

Till the market comes crashing

And we all find ourselves drowning

In a raging sea of debt

Nothing’s left

But the whispers, the sounds of money