BMM 8 - The Good Old Days

Whenever I'm, from time to time, depressed
And a trauma wells and swells within my breast
I find some pride deep inside of me
As I fondly walk the lane of memory 

I see Bonaparte, a mean one
If ever I've seen one
And Nero fiddlin' through that lovely blaze
Antoinette, dainty queen,
With her quaint guillotine
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Those were the good old days! 

I see Indians a-draggin'
An empty covered wagon
When scalping the settlers was the latest craze
And that glorious morn
Jack the Ripper was born
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Those were the good old days! 

I'd sit in my rocking chair
Peacefully rockin' there
Counting my blessings by the score
The rack was in fashion
The plagues were my passion
Each day held a new joy in store
Was anybody happy?

 I see cannibals a-munchin'
A missionary luncheon
The years may have flown but the memory stays
Like the hopes that were dashed
When the stock market crashed
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Those were the good old days! 

I'd walk a million miles or more
For some of the gore
Of those good...
Old...
Days!

I was so contented
When prisons were invented
And the ones with the gallows set my heart ablaze
I was burning with pride
The day Bonnie met Clyde
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Those were the good old days! 

I doze by the fireside
Dreaming of cyanide
Never a worry or a care
And how can one measure
The infinite pleasure
Of dreaming of the electric chair?
Some people found it shocking!
Skip it! 

In any aisle I'd lay 'em
With arson and with mayhem
It's a hammy routine but it always plays
And my favorite encore
Was the Hundred Year War!
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Those were the good old days!

 I'd gladly sail the seven seas
For just one reprise
Of those good...
Old...
Days! 

From Wikipedia: "Those Were The Good Old Days" is from the musical Damn Yankees. It's about Mr. Applegate (who is the Devil disguised as a salesman) recalling some historical events at its cruelest and worst.

My own thoughts: In my last semester of college, I attended my university's rendition of this musical for my theater class. We had to write a critique on it, and our grade depended more on thoroughness than anything else. A relatively simple assignment, but the professor had his way of knowing whether we actually did it.

By far, I found Mr. Applegate the most entertaining. While it was fairly obvious he was the Devil in disguise, the actor provided more than half the entertainment by himself, and it was no surprise that he received some of the most enthusiastic applause at the end.