Why I Support Disney Princesses

Ah, yes, the lovely ladies of Disney. The animated heroines we all love...and love to hate.

There's no denying the flak these ladies have caught over the years. These days, they're under even more fire, notoriously from well-known actresses. If I had a dollar (or even a nickel) for every time I've heard (or read about) a bashing of a female Disney character, and the overall message of "consent" and all that jazz, I'd have my student loans paid to the last penny in no time!

Now, of course, I'm perfectly sympathetic toward women who have been used and abused. Stories of rape and misogyny never fail to nauseate me. I would never stand for a man treating me like crap for a second. Everybody deserves respect.

I, however, am not only a fan of Disney princesses, but all this "princess bashing" of late does not sit well with me, not one bit.

This is wrong. Wrong. WRONG. 

Let me tell you why.

First and foremost, the Disney princesses are human (in a sense) like the rest of us. They're not perfect. They have their strengths, weaknesses, and unique little traits. Which makes them feel all the more real, and I feel I can relate to them.

They make mistakes, but the important thing is they learn something from those mistakes.

Take Merida, for example.

Everybody's so quick to write Merida off as a royal brat who only cares about herself...but when you think about it, there is so much more to her than that. Her situation is certainly no bed of roses. Would you have acted any differently in such a situation? Her mother (with whom viewers sympathize so much more) had her own less-than-ideal traits and she had a few lessons to learn the hard way, too.

I'll spare you the details of the movie, but let me just say that, in the end, both Merida and her mother learn something and change for the better, and that's the whole point of a story, isn't it?

On the other hand, people sing Merida's praises for not relying on a man or having any kind of love interest. It doesn't really bother me that Merida doesn't hook up with anybody (I'm all in favor of stories that focus more on family relationships and the familial type of love), but people also have to remember that Merida is only 16; there's no guarantee that she'll stay single forever, that she won't find love when she's ready for it, and if she does find it, well and good. As I said, the important thing is she learns a valuable lesson and this valuable lesson sticks.

And then we have that famous line from Frozen: "You can't marry a man you just met." Gee, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that as well, along with all the memes featuring reactions to that line:

Not surprisingly, people are swift to both sing Elsa's praises and bash Anna to no end for this. While I will admit that Elsa makes a truly valid point, I think we're judging Anna (along with the other Disney ladies who fall under this trope) much too harshly.

Think about it: Anna was forced to spend almost her entire life cut off from society. She was forced to grow up in a huge castle with only her parents and her servants for company; her own sister, who used to be her "best buddy," wanted nothing to do with her. Of course, we know Elsa's reasons for shutting Anna out of her life, but Anna had no way of knowing those reasons.

Unlike Elsa, Anna wasn't the "conceal, don't feel" type.

She was lonely.

She needed somebody to love.

She needed to be loved.

The poor girl was so starved for affection and acceptance that she seized her opportunity as soon as it came. Who was to say, at that moment, if she would ever get such a chance again? On the whole, who can blame her? I sure can't.

If anything, Anna's seemingly silly traits endear her to me all the more. I feel a much stronger connection with her than with Elsa. Nothing wrong with Elsa, of course, but Anna is by far my favorite character of them all, and she's easily made it to my list of favorite heroines--inside and outside Disney.

On the other hand, I'm sure not complaining about sisterly love saving the day; no one said "an act of true love" only meant romantic love. Nor am I complaining about Anna discovering romantic love with somebody else, who turns out to be the real deal.

From what I see, Disney princesses get the most flak for being so impulsive; they're so quick to fall in love and they rely too much on a man to save them. Ariel gets slammed for giving up her entire world and her own body for a human (who doesn't even know she exists until about halfway through the movie).

Belle is accused of Stockholm Syndrome, which means falling in love with the person who's holding you hostage.

Cinderella is accused of being much too meek and submissive.

Most recently, I've heard that Snow White and Aurora were kissed without their so-called consent.

I'll say it again: take a closer look at these ladies' situations before you pull out the flaming coals.

Even before she met Eric, Ariel was already fascinated with a world outside her own. Don't we all, at some point or another, indulge in fantasies about the people and places outside our tiny comfort zone? Doesn't the grass always appear greener on the other side?

And then there were Ariel's issues with her father; I would say her father was the driving force more than anything else. Ariel herself admitted, "I just don't see things the way he does." And no matter how we view Ariel as a whole, surely we can all agree in a heartbeat that what Triton did to her (destroying her entire cave of treasures before her very eyes) was wa-a-a-ay over the top. Such a scene is tough for me to watch, even now. What happened afterward is no wonder.

Belle wanted nothing to do with the Beast at first, for perfectly legitimate reasons. It was only after he helped her, when she began to realize there was much more to him than she thought, that the seed of love was planted. Even then, they still took time to get to know each other better, to be less judgmental of each other. This serves as terrific character development for both Belle and Beast.

Then we all know the ending: turns out the Beast was a handsome prince all along, and he and Belle not only broke the spell together but they completed each other.

Each brought out the best in the other.

Each was the other's significant half.

When they came together, the puzzle of their lives was done. 

So, as far as I'm concerned, that whole "Stockholm Syndrome" and "bestiality" nonsense is just that: nonsense. 

Now we move onto Cinderella, the so-called timid girl who does absolutely everything she's told to do and never rebels in any way. She's "as mild and as meek as a mouse."

But let me ask you this: if Cinderella had rebelled against her cruel stepmother and stepsisters, what good would it have done? They had perfect authority to cast her out and leave her to starve in the streets. Where would she go? Who else could she turn to?

This line from the movie's narrator speaks volumes to me, "And yet, through it all, Cinderella remained ever gentle and kind. For, with each dawn, she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true."

Sometimes, mates, that's all you can do. You can only do so much in your own power. You often come to the point where you just have to wait, be patient, and not lose hope.

Not only does Cinderella do just that, but she proves her superiority to her stepfamily by not stooping to their level, by maintaining a dignity fit for any queen. Most likely, everything she suffered as a servant (and everything she learned from that suffering) will serve her well during her noble reign.

How could anyone go wrong with such traits? What better role model for girls and boys?

And finally, we shall debunk the most absurd claim of Snow White and Aurora being taken advantage of. To all those people who are currently raising such a stink over the blatant lack of permission, I ask, "How were they supposed to give that permission?"

In case it's not obvious enough, both princesses are trapped in a deep sleep. This isn't your average, everyday slumber. This is a bona fide curse from which neither lady can free herself even if she tried.

Why else would they call it a curse? Where do you think the title "Sleeping Death" came from?

Both princesses needed help, and only true love's kiss held the power to help them. It underscores the moral, "Love conquers all. Love is stronger than fear. Evil is strong but good triumphs over evil."

And still people protest, "But there was no consent!" 

Does this mean you always have to ask a girl's "consent" before giving her a simple hug or peck on the cheek? Are you saying girls shouldn't be touched in a tender, gentle manner? As human beings, we thrive on affection...which is not to say we should be touched constantly. There is still such a thing as personal space.

But I'll say it once more: we need to be loved.

We need somebody to love.

No one can make it entirely on their own. No one is 100% strong or independent.

God Himself declared, "It is not good for man to be alone." There's a reason why God put Adam and Eve together when the world was made. Adam needed Eve, and Eve needed Adam. It's that simple.

I like women who can look after themselves. They don't expect a man to handle all their problems. My own female protagonists, such as Rhiella and Lara and Kyla, are perfectly capable of speaking their minds and standing on their own feet. Even so, they sincerely dream of true love, and they ultimately find the man who completes them. At the same time, Terence, Reid, and Romulus are better men because of their women. The scales are evened out.

So, that's my defense of Disney's princesses. Feel free to disagree with me or prove me wrong. But if I ever have kids of my own, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm going to share the fairy tales and Disney movies that made up my childhood with them, minus the shaming and the side lectures.

And I have one last thing to say: I would much rather have Cinderella and Snow White for role models than characters like Bella Swann, Anastasia Steele, and Harley Quinn, who knowingly remain in toxic relationships and endure the constant abuse their boyfriends pile on them...all because of "love."